To my daughter

24 Apr 2013

Dear Josslyn,

I've been meaning to do this for a long time now, but just wasn't ready to do it until I got it right. As you'll learn soon enough, one of my faults is trying to create perfection. So far you're the only thing I've been involved with the creation of that is close to perfect, and that's just me stealing credit from your mom and God.

Since the day your mother told me you were coming I've wanted to record everyone of my thoughts, fears, words of advice, and moments with you. Here we are almost exactly two years later from that emotional morning and I'm finally doing it.

First word of advice, don't procrastinate. I've done it my entire life, you literally can't have procrastiNATE without me. The Lord continually tells us not to. It makes life more stressful and full of regret than it needs to be. Avoid it. Especially when it's something meaningful, or in relation to your spirituality or someone else's.

I like the way today started. You slept well last night. That always makes your mother, myself, and of course, you in a better mood.

Though your mom and I didn't sleep so well. You took a pretty nasty fall Tuesday evening and your mom started reading "when to take your kid to the doctor" articles on her smartphone right  before bed. She started to worry cause the articles all mentioned clear liquid continuously running from an injured nose.  Your fall did a number on your nose, and it's been continuously runny and stuffy since the fall.

We took you to see Dr. Zoe at Cascade Pediatrics this morning mostly to give your mom and I peace of mind.

She said it's probably just a cold and merely coincidence that you got it at the time of the fall.
I felt the same way  when your mom started to freak herself out last night. I felt you were okay because you have kept your happy demeanor and personality and didn't seem to be in pain.

Part of the problem is we don't have health insurance or coverage for you yet. We pay out of our own pocket for your medical needs. There is a stigma of being a terrible parent if your kids aren't covered. We beat ourselves up over it every time you get sick, hurt yourself, or almost get hurt.

I know you've had angels watching over you. The scriptures tell us the Aaronic Priesthood holds the keys to the administering of angels. I've asked for them to watch over you and your mom for over two years now and I've witnessed them doing it where I  was unable or too mortal to do so.
Second word of advice, make sure  you provide your kids access to health and medical services so you don't beat yourself up about it. I mean have savings or insurance or  whatever exists when you're a mom.

We left the doctor $100 poorer, but pricelessly at peace. As we were at the office, you, like you do  everywhere you go, owned the attention of everyone around you.

You've always used your beauty and cheerfulness to captivate people and draw their attention to you and your genuine happiness. I have no doubt it is one of your spiritual gifts. Continue to develop it. Always use your power to captivate others' attention for good. Remind them of joy.

I walked around the doctor's office parking lot with you for a few minutes after the appointment.
It was one of those rare warm sunny clear-skyed days in Washington, and I wanted to  cherish as much of it as I could with you. We love being outside together, rain or shine. I hope that never changes.

Eventually, you and your mom dropped me off at work. I  spent the rest of my day answering emails phone calls and going to save the world one newspaper advertisement at a time.
I  failed to each lunch again like I usually do. Walked home, and you greeted me at the door with a cheer and arms raised ready to be picked up, like you usually do.

You assisted me with untying and taking off my dress shoes and we played while mom got dinner ready.

You didn't eat very much of a meal you usually love. Mom gave you bath. I washed dishes. You ate an apple (Granny Smith is your favorite), and some pretzels. Then I tried to put you to  bed. You weren't quite ready and started crying when I left the room.

Mom came back and calmed you down like only she can.

Now I'm in bed too finally writing my first digital letter journal to you while your mom snores (let's call it breathing deeply) next to me.

I'm glad you're okay from your fall. I wasn't there when you tripped over mom's foot and face-firsted it into the sidewalk outside my office.

I had my emotional meltdown about that and other things shortly after the fall Tuesday night, but you were there for me when you were the injured on entitled to some parental support and attention.

I love you sweetheart.

Love,
Your Dad
Alma 7:11-13