From the heart

5 Dec 2018

Dear Josslyn and McKynzie,

It's 5:41 a.m. I've been awake for the last hour or so. I think something is wrong.

Your grandpa and my grandpa are both in the hospital right now. My dad, Keith, who is known as "Poppy" to all of his grandchildren, had two blockages in his heart. It sounds like the doctors did a good job and he'll be okay.

"Opa," my last living grandparent, Gary, has been recovering from quite a few problems for the last two months. It started when he broke his hip at his house. He seems okay but my guess is he wants to come home by now. You two love visiting him. He lives right across the street from church and we like to go visit him after church.

You sang a duet in sacrament meeting right before Thanksgiving and then went and sang to him in the hospital.

It was only a few months ago this last summer when your grandpa Gadd was killed in a car crash.

Your mom and I are starting to wonder about mortality.

My grandpa Ronald, who you never got to meet, had heart problems. My dad loved him very much. I miss him too.

I can't help but stay awake right now worried about my heart. I've checked my heartbeat a few times since I woke up a little after 4 a.m.

I'm a little stressed right now. Going to school for my masters degree while working full-time, raising you, and trying to be a better person has been difficult. Your mom and I  worry about money a lot. Probably more than we should.

Writing to you is a little bit selfish on my part. I'm hoping it calms me down some. It's working. I'm sorry these letters stopped for so many years and that some aren't comprehensible.

I'm very proud of you both. You are both so smart and so loving. Your faith and love for the gospel and Jesus Christ are astounding. You've changed my heart and I love you.

Cherish moments you have with those that come before you. Get to know them early and record memories together.

Your mom is teaching Relief Society on Sunday. It's the same lesson I helped teach in Elder's Quorum a few weeks ago. President Ballard spoke of the vision pod the redemption of the dead that President Joseph F. Smith had found in D&C 138.

I guess you can see why mom and I are considering life and death right now. Not to mention we feel old. I turn 35 soon. Josslyn, you'll be 7 soon. Life here on earth is really fast. It speeds up as you get older. Don't waste any of it on things that don't matter. Always be learning and trying to have new meaningful experiences with each other. Be kind. Be like Jesus wants you to be.

Love,
Dad

Miss my girls

Wrote you a big long post but blogger app crashed again when I pressed "publish". Technology is keeping me from wanting to do this.

A New Start

5 June 2014

Dear Josslyn,

These letters haven't been consistent. A major roadblock was when the Blogger app on my phone kept quitting whenever I'd try to sign in. Amazing how much we rely on convenient technology now. Makes me wonder how you'll write to your children.

It's 4 a.m. and you, your little sister, and your mom are asleep, but I'm struggling to go back.

You are recovering from a rough few days. You developed a pretty high fever awfully quick the other day. Got up to 102, but plenty of Popsicles and children's Tylenol got you back to where you needed to be.

Sleeping through the night has been a big struggle for you lately, and I've spent more time on the floor next to your bed then I have in my own lately.

Getting you to go to sleep and stay in your need has been a real struggle for all of us since you got your new bed in December for Christmas.

You love your new baby sister though. Today the three of us played a new fun game. You pretended to be stuck behind the pillows on the couch, and would cry out for help, "Super Baby come save me!"

Then I'd pick McKynzie up and put her in the air like Superman or Peter Pan and say, "Super Baby!" You would then grab her hand and she would help save you from the clutches of the couch pillows.

You, mom, and Kynzie walked to Willow Park with the "black stroller," while I drove some neighbors over for the ward party. You loved playing with your friends Hope, Scarlett, and Asher. You also saw some of your other nursery friends.

You didn't each much. Just a hot dog and some cupcake, but your appetite hasn't been great with your stuffy nose.

A princess dress, crown, and dancing with injured daddy

24 Nov 2013

Dear Josslyn,

You made it through the day. You and I got up pretty early for a Sunday, but your stuffy nose and my injured ribs made for no reason to stay in bed longer than needed. It was a good night of sleep for you though compared to the lack of you getting through the night lately.

We watched Cinderella and Jake and The Neverland Pirates and made some muffins.

For church you put on a pretty princess dress. Black and white with a red bow. Before church you wore your pink crown. We ate some chicken nugget dinosaurs for lunch.

You did good for nursery and stayed by yourself for the whole second half, which is your favorite cause it involves the lesson, songs, snacks and coloring.

Sacrament didn't go as well. It's been hard for you since mom started playing the organ, and the fact it's the middle of your nap time doesn't help either.

We got through it, but you never did get to nap cause we got home at 4 pm. After another muffin (that's all you'd eat for dinner) and a Squeezy. You tried falling asleep on the floor around 6 pm but mom and I wouldn't let you.

It didn't take you long to catch your second wind though and you started putting the discs with music in the princess book that grandma Laursen let you borrow and dancing.

You and I danced and danced until Poppy came over with some soup. Then you played swords and ran around with him. After you got Poppy with your sword you made him fall to the ground acting like he was hurt, then you'd ask if he was okay and help him up.

Eventually, you would fall to the floor acting hurt too. I brought the Ace bandage wrap that I've been using on my hurt ribs to wrap your "hurts." Earlier in the evening when mommy was explaining that you couldn't climb on daddy cause he was hurt you started bring the bandage over and putting it on me while giving me very precise directions in Josslynese. You then took the bandage to Mom and put it on her with directions. You then came back to me and healed my hurt hair with the bandage.

We also played a new game today where you gave Mom a kiss, then gave me one, then turned Mom's face towards mine and made us kiss. You thought that was a blast and mom and i liked it lots too.

You also spent some time before Poppy came over talking and dancing with Grandma and Grandpa Sedgwick on the phone. I think we are all really excited to see each other in a few days.

It will be your 15th and 16th plane rides by the age of two. Quite the traveler so far.

You woke up happy today after sleeping through the night pretty good. I hope you get that again tonight. You danced and sang songs all day and I'm glad you invited me to always join you. Having a daughter like you to keep me happy and dancing even with hurt ribs is a blessing.

You're even a great wingman, and hook me up with kisses from mom.

Lucky to have you around.

Love,
Dad

Humbled

14 June 2013

Dear Josslyn,

It's 2:11 a.m. you're in the living room with your mother while I'm at my bedside still on my knees.

This life will compel and sometimes demand humility. I've said more sincere prayers in the last 8 hours than I have in the last 8 months.

I don't think there is a more helpless feeling  than when your child is sick.

In the past 24 hours you've developed a fever of 102. It's come down a few degrees but  resolving your discomfort is difficult.

It's so hard  to see you in pain.

You were given a blessing  before you went to bed, and even though it was ministered by an instrument as unworthy as me, I have faith it will work to comfort and heal you.

The priesthood is real. The Savior can heal. We have to go to Him.

Sometimes it takes a two foot miracle to get a man on his knees. Thank you, Josslyn for being here.

Love,
Dad

Duckie!

8 June 2013

Dear Josslyn,

Today started out really fun as we went to a great park near the Temple in Bellevue to take some pictures  of you to celebrate 18 months.

There were ducks everywhere!

Bubbles. Slide swing. Pinwheel at grocery store.

Everyone really tired.

Love,
Dad

Homemade Garlic Cream Sauce and Lobster Ravioli

5 June 2013

Dear Josslyn,

Mommy made a great meal today. Lobster ravioli was the plan but she wasn't sure what to do with sauce as the  marinara  wouldn't be very good.

Target after work.

Sunglasses. Dog on tv commercials.

Lunch at boarding house old ladies, young waitresses thought cute.

You ate orange slices.

Lingering car seat puke