5 Dec 2018
Dear Josslyn and McKynzie,
It's 5:41 a.m. I've been awake for the last hour or so. I think something is wrong.
Your grandpa and my grandpa are both in the hospital right now. My dad, Keith, who is known as "Poppy" to all of his grandchildren, had two blockages in his heart. It sounds like the doctors did a good job and he'll be okay.
"Opa," my last living grandparent, Gary, has been recovering from quite a few problems for the last two months. It started when he broke his hip at his house. He seems okay but my guess is he wants to come home by now. You two love visiting him. He lives right across the street from church and we like to go visit him after church.
You sang a duet in sacrament meeting right before Thanksgiving and then went and sang to him in the hospital.
It was only a few months ago this last summer when your grandpa Gadd was killed in a car crash.
Your mom and I are starting to wonder about mortality.
My grandpa Ronald, who you never got to meet, had heart problems. My dad loved him very much. I miss him too.
I can't help but stay awake right now worried about my heart. I've checked my heartbeat a few times since I woke up a little after 4 a.m.
I'm a little stressed right now. Going to school for my masters degree while working full-time, raising you, and trying to be a better person has been difficult. Your mom and I worry about money a lot. Probably more than we should.
Writing to you is a little bit selfish on my part. I'm hoping it calms me down some. It's working. I'm sorry these letters stopped for so many years and that some aren't comprehensible.
I'm very proud of you both. You are both so smart and so loving. Your faith and love for the gospel and Jesus Christ are astounding. You've changed my heart and I love you.
Cherish moments you have with those that come before you. Get to know them early and record memories together.
Your mom is teaching Relief Society on Sunday. It's the same lesson I helped teach in Elder's Quorum a few weeks ago. President Ballard spoke of the vision pod the redemption of the dead that President Joseph F. Smith had found in D&C 138.
I guess you can see why mom and I are considering life and death right now. Not to mention we feel old. I turn 35 soon. Josslyn, you'll be 7 soon. Life here on earth is really fast. It speeds up as you get older. Don't waste any of it on things that don't matter. Always be learning and trying to have new meaningful experiences with each other. Be kind. Be like Jesus wants you to be.
Love,
Dad
